July 2009  / Mom

http://www.lucaschristopherross.net/afAnniversary07Jul.html

 

A memorial butterfly for you.

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Mother's Day was rough  / MOM

Thank you, Doyle for this poem. I stayed in bed this Mother's Day and played video games with Riley.

 

Happy Mother's Day

To day sould be a special day

Yet it's hard when you miss your child

You have love that cannot be given

Love you cannot receive from your child

Know that you were a bessing to your child

As your child was a blessing to you

Celebrate this day the best you can

It's your day, It's God's plan

Happy Mother's Day to you one and all

Doyle Alldredge

10 May 2009

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Nancy helps again - closure  / Mom
Closure
Posted by: "Nancy J. Rigg" NJRigg@roadrunner.com njrigg
Sat Sep 13, 2008 11:22 am (PDT)
I have a confession to make. I hate the word closure when connected
with the loss of a loved one. You know what I mean - a spouse, a
sibling, a friend dies. Weeks later there are those who want to know
when the bereaved will find closure. The dictionary defines closure as
'. . . to be impervious to . . . to choke off . . . to constrict . . .
to bolt . . . to bar . . . to end.' For survivors, the word closure
often connotes that the bereaved are underachievers who flunked a grief
course.

Though the intention is meant to be sympathetic, there is evoked a note
of chastisement for failing to end the mourning process.

In the eloquent words of Dr. Jimmy Holland at New York's Sloan-Kettering
Hospital: 'We create a sense of failure as if the bereaved is not doing
it fast enough.'

For grief work takes more time and effort than most people ever
anticipate. And even after weeks, months, and years later, grief may
ebb, but never ends . . . The Song of Songs has an insightful
perspective on the death of a beloved.
Instead of a word like closure ('to end'), are the thoughts of never
forgetting, always remembering.

The final day of Passover . . . is a Service of Yizkor ('Remembrance' )
for those whose memories will never die. In the synagogue is a 'wall of
remembrance' of past members who are recalled with lights lit by their
names.

There is no closure.

The beauty of their lives never ends. The life of the dead is now
placed in the memory of the living.

For 'love is strong as death' (8:6).

-- Rabbi Dr. Earl Grollman

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4th Angelversary  / Mom

Our Kira's Angelversary

I Can Only Dream



I can only dream in my thoughts

When once more we will be together

My broken heart will be healed

Our happiness wil last forever



I can only dream in my thoughts

Of wrapping my arms around you

Hugs and kisses for all our lost time

Repeating over and over I love you



I can only dream in my thoughts

How special our reunion will be

Never to be seperated by death ever again

Forever, you and I

Doyle Alldredge

16 July 2008



If Only

My heart is in a zillion pieces

Broken by an unwanted loneliness

Of losing a child to death

If only I could go back in time

I would love my child more than before

My time would be spent more wisely

I would pay more attention and listen more

If only I could go back in time

I would share more in the dreams

Only which a child could dream

And to sing the songs which were not sung

If only I could go back in time

So much I would do differently

More kisses and hugs to give away

More time spent with my child

If only I could go back in time

If Only

Doyle Alldredge

© 28 August 2006





We Love And Miss You Kira



Angela < reddickangela@yahoo.com

Website:

www.freewebs.com.wyoangelkira/



" Each day passing does not take me farther from my child: Each day passing only brings me one day closer to my child"....Doyle Alldredge

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I love you  / Mom
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Dry vs Delayed Drowning  / Mom

http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/drydrowning.asp

Dry Drowning

Claim: Account of a 10-year-old boy's death explains dry drowning and its symptoms.

Status: Multiple — see below.

Example: [Collected via e-mail, June 2008]

The tragic death of a South Carolina 10-year-old more than an hour after he had gone swimming has focused a spotlight on the little-known phenomenon called "dry drowning" - and warning signs that every parent should be aware of.

"I've never known a child could walk around, talk, speak and their lungs be filled with water," Cassandra Jackson told NBC News in a story broadcast Thursday on TODAY.

On Sunday, Jackson had taken her son, Johnny, to a pool near their home in Goose Creek, S.C. It was the first time he'd ever gone swimming - and, tragically, it would be his last.

[Rest of article here.]

Origins: The e-mail quoted above is the text of an article titled "Boy’s death highlights a hidden danger: Dry drowning" that was posted to the TodayShow.com site on 5 June 2008. Although the account is essentially true, the article contains some confusing elements that could send parents scuttling to protect their children from one danger when they should have been trying to guard them against a quite different one.

A 10-year-old boy named Johnny ("Jon Jon") Jackson died as described above on 1 June 2008 in Goose Creek, South Carolina, subsequent to swimming in the pool at the apartment complex where he lived. Although Johnny, a child who lived with autism and attention deficit disorder, was wearing flotation
devices on his arms and was being monitored by his mother during his time in the pool, he did inhale some water while swimming; his mother described him as "taking a little bit of water in and coughing and then calming down." He afterwards appeared fine, but less than two hours after leaving the pool he twice defecated in his pants and complained of being tired. After being bathed and dressing himself back at the apartment, the boy walked to his bed unaided, leaving his mother to believe he was simply worn out. Yet when his mother checked on Johnny a few minutes later, she discovered that white foam was issuing from his mouth, his lips were blue, and his tongue was sticking out. The family called 911, but the Johnny suffered cardiac arrest during transport to the hospital and was pronounced dead on arrival at Trident Medical Center. According to the coroner, water was found in Johnny's lungs, and the cause of his death was listed as asphyxiation by drowning.

While the article about Johnny's death is factual, it contains one key element of confusion: Jon Jon Jackson was not technically a "dry drowning" victim, but rather a victim of "delayed drowning," also termed "secondary drowning." That distinction is important because numerous news articles that mentioned Johnny's death and attributed it to dry drowning also supplied the information that dry drowning is responsible for ten to fifteen percent of all drowning deaths, thereby making it seem as though the tragic circumstances that swept away this one particular child loom as a huge risk to other children. This is not the case: The incidence of delayed drowning (which is what killed Johnny) is relatively uncommon; the incidence of true dry drowning is much greater. The latter is therefore what adult swimmers and the parents of juvenile swimmers need be more concerned about, but that form of drowning was not truly described in the article about Johnny's death.

Many news stories, by the way, indicate they drew the "ten to fifteen percent" figure from the Centers for Disease Control. The CDC denies this, distancing itself from that particular factoid with this statement:
UPDATE: Recent media reports have incorrectly attributed to CDC data about incidents of "dry drowning." CDC supports international consensus defining drowning as "the process of experiencing respiratory impairment from submersion/immersion in liquid" and does not distinguish between "wet" and "dry" drowning.
The primary difference between dry drowning and secondary (or delayed) drowning is the presence or absence of water in the victim's lungs. In Jon Jon Jackson's case, he died with water in his lungs, so his death was more typical of "ordinary" drowning victims (i.e., water in the lungs prevented those organs from transporting oxygen into the bloodstream) even though he lived for a couple of hours after leaving the pool. By contrast, true dry drowning deaths do not involve the presence of liquid in the lungs.

There are two primary theories as to what causes dry drowning, and it may well be that both are correct and that this form of death can be brought on in two different ways. The first theory is that a sudden rush of water into the throat causes the airway to snap shut, a condition known as a laryngospasm. During this event, although no water enters the lungs, no air enters either, so the victim dies of asphyxiation. The second explanation posits that the shock of a swimmer's suddenly entering extremely cold water causes the heart to stop.

Dry drowning accounts for ten to fifteen percent of all drowning deaths. Considering that approximately 4,000 people drown in the U.S. each year, that means dry drowning kills about 400 to 600 U.S. victims annually. It therefore poses a significant enough mortality risk that those who swim (or who supervise swimmers) should know what can be done to decrease the chance of its happening to them or their loved ones.

To help prevent dry drowning, keep your mouth closed when jumping or diving into water, thereby protecting the larynx from a sudden inrush of water that could cause it to spasm and cut off the airway. Also, do not dive or jump into extremely cold water; instead enter cold water gradually. Those who have a history of heart problems should avoid entering very cold water at all, even if they plan to go slowly.

Drowning is the second most common cause of death in children in the United States. In addition to following the more usual cautions (e.g., watch them like hawks all the time), caregivers of young swimmers should try to head off dry drowning by training their charges to keep their mouths closed when jumping into water and to enter very cold water slowly. Caregivers should also guard against delayed drowning by monitoring very closely any child who has come out of the water coughing and sputtering (signs of water having been breathed in), especially keeping an eye out for any further difficulties in breathing, extreme tiredness, or marked changes in behavior, all of which are signs that a swimmer may have inhaled a dangerous amount of fluid. Should such difficulties be noted in a swimmer, that person should be taken promptly to an emergency room for medical observation and, if necessary, intervention.

One additional caution should be noted regarding drowning: It is a fallacy that those who lose their lives in such fashion will flail about wildly even as they are slipping beneath the water's surface. Drowning generally occurs silently and smoothly, the victim quietly passing away wholly unnoticed as friends or family chatter nearby. Therefore, never mistake a lack of commotion for a sign that everything is all right; instead, keep your eyes on those you are supposed to be watching rather than trust that they will do or shout something to alert you if anything goes awry. Forget about trusting that old saw about drowners' going down three times: they go down once, and they stay down.

Barbara "three's a shroud" Mikkelson

Last updated: 17 June 2008

The URL for this page is http://www.snopes.com/medical/disease/drydrowning.asp

Urban Legends Reference Pages © 1995-2008 by snopes.com.
This material may not be reproduced without permission.
snopes and the snopes.com logo are registered service marks of snopes.com.
Sources Sources:

Celizic, Mike. "Boy’s Death Highlights a Hidden Danger: Dry Drowning."
TodayShow.com. 5 June 2008.

Chew, Kristina. "Boy Dies During Nap, Possibly from Secondary Drowning."
Autism Vox. 5 June 2008.

Parks, Nadine. "Boy's Death Mystifies Mother."
The [Charleston] Post and Courier. 4 June 2008 (p. B1).
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Love her  / Corbin Curry (Best Friend )

Hi kira we miss you alot. me and my cousin miss you. my cousin Ben has  been talking about you and he wishes he could see you some day. Ben is my cousin and we love each other, Ben loves you too. I miss you my mom misses you my gramma misses you my little sister knows you. 

We all just. . . love you so much.

It was really sad to hear about the day whenever you drawnded in the pool at swimming lessons. 

So hears a poem:

We'll all see you in Heaven 
We'll be happy to see you
We'll never forget about you. 
We haven't forgot about you yet. 
And we'll try not to.

We all just love you so much!!!!!!!

From Corbin to Kira, Bye love you!

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new poem++-  / Mom
The Letter

I write a letter to my angel each night

Death has taken my child from my site

My heart is filled with lonliness which isn't right

So I write letters to help me get through the lonly nights

I tell my angel about my feelings and how lost I feel

How all this just cannot be for real

Tear stains cover each letter I write

I feel writing these helps me make it through the night

I tell my angel of the things going on in my life

Moments of happiness and also my strife

While writing, I feel my angel close to me

After I finish the letter I feel a peace come over me

Some say It's silly for what I do

All I can say is I hope it never happens to you

I shall continue to write my letters, it's what I must do

And I seal each one with a big I Love You

Doyle Alldredge

9 June 2007
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So Very Sorry for Your Loss  / Melissa Eiler (Visitor~Daughter of Irwin & Renee Eiler )

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Bryan & I are very sorry for your loss.  / Jaime Wilkison (Osborne)
I heard about your website & I wanted to check it out & offer my condolences...

I'm sure you remember me.  I was otherwise known as Jaime Osborne, but Bryan & I got married, so now I am Jaime Wilkison.   Bryan has really cleaned up his act, & no longer drinks - keeps a steady job, & supports us well.  Because of his drinking, we now have a beautiful daughter whom we named Lily Anne-Marie, who is now six months.  I love my daughter more than life itself - I never knew a person was capable of this much love, so I can only imagine the pain you must feel.   
I remember meeting your darling little daughter on a few occassions - she always had so much energy, & seemed like she had to use everyone as her personal jungle gym.  Bryan then had told me what had happened, & was shocked, & felt a lot of heartache for Kira, & your family.  Just remember that she is in God's hands, & that it's almost worth envying her that she gets to escape all the pain, hurt & frustration of ever day life, & lives in eternal happiness.  Bryan & I both just wanted to offer our sympathy - she was such a beautiful little girl. Close

Kira - 11/11/06  / Rebekah (Aunt of Another Angel Mom )

I am Zana's aunt who has her Alex in heaven now.  I just wanted to post a note to say how sorry I am for your loss.   Kira is a beautiful little girl and I can see you love her very much.   I pray for your heart to heal as much as possible as you move forward raising Riley and loving Kira all along the way.    My love and prayers to you and your family.

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Poems 11-8-06  / Mom
DON'T HIDE THE SCARS

I wept all alone
suffered on my own
I didn't think that anyone would understand
until you opened up and
shared your painful past with me
Then the wounds that I kept hidden
were touched by Heaven's hand
because God used you
and all that you've been through

Don't hide the scars
Don't be afraid to let them show
'Cause someone who hurts will see themselves in you
There's healing in knowing your not the only one
You can touch another heart
Don't hide the scars.

Everyone must go
through the dark nights of the soul
and bear the pain and all the wounds
that life can sometimes bring
For in the worst of times
We need the strength of another
With God's love flowing through them
we find the faith we need
So no matter where you stood
It will work out for the good.

Author Unknown



HOW DO I FEEL

You ask how I feel
After the loss of my child
It's like being in a dark void
Being attacked by a burden of fear

I feel as if I've been torn apart
I feel as two persons instead of one
Trapped in this void with no place to go
Searching for my child, I love so dear

I forever am calling his/her name
Waiting, hoping for my child to answer
I feel so alone even among people
I've become afraid to those I now hold dear

You ask how do I feel
I pray no parent should face what I've face
Going through this torment of pain and sorrow
This loneliness and changed personality is so unreal

I pray no parent should find this out
For those you know who has lost a child
Support them, cry with them, talk and listen to them

Doyle Alldredge
11/05/2006

A little friendship, a little sympathy, a little sociability,
a little human toil...is needed in every nook and corner.
Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity.
Albert Schweitzer






Hi Mom



Hi mom, I love you

Just want you to know

I’m with you where ever you may go



I see how much you miss me

You shouldn’t cry so much

I’m really okay here; it’s a great place to be



I’ve watched you stand by my bedroom door

Wondering if to enter or not, it’s hard for you to decide

Then you quickly open the door and peek inside



My room is as I left it and

Mom it breaks my heart

I’m not inside the room; I’m living in your heart



Mom your love is what keeps me alive

Stop, and just fill the warmth deep inside

Mom it’s me your love keeps me inside



Though I am in heaven

I can still be with you

And mom, I can still love you



With love,

Your precious child






A Candle Burns



A candle burns for you tonight

It’s light reflecting off the wall

Shadows dancing all about

I’m so lonesome for you tonight



The flame flickers in time

As each teardrop trickles down my cheek

I’ve cried so much

I’ve become weak



A candle burns for you tonight

As my love for you burns

The wick of the candle gives the flame life

My love for you gives you life



Forever in my heart I’ll keep you

Nothing, not even death can take you from me

My memories of you shall be like the candle’s flame

Casting your glow for all to see



By: Doyle Alldredge

© 2005 



I HAVE THESE HOLES

Last night my sadness woke me up,
And I sobbed uncontrollably,
The world was sleeping,
So I turned to the Lord for conversation.

I feel like I'm getting my life together, Lord,
Except for these holes...
The losses I have had, have left these holes in me,
And now my life keeps seeping out the holes.

I've tried filling the holes with all kinds of things,
Busyness, food, sympathy from other,
But nothing works, I still have these holes,
And the grief froi-n memories past enveloped me again.

And I sat rocking myself, holding myself,
Trying to give comfort to my pain,
Wanting to gain understanding,
This pain sure hurts, Lord.

And then as early morning came,
I heard Him softly call my name,
With nail-scarred hands, outstretched to me
He said so very tenderly, "I have holes too."
And then I knew...He understood...as so one could.

Anne Peterson



THE BRIDGE

I crossed a bridge separating yesterday from today
The flowing river of death has taken my child away
After crossing the bridge it then disappeared
Never to return the way my life was

This day a part of me was washed away
Just as death had swept you away
I cried out and wanting you back
My pleas went unheard; you could never come back

This was a bridge no parent should ever have to cross
Only life sometimes directs us to cross this terrible bridge
If you or someone else is led to cross this bridge
You will find others there, to help you with your loss

Doyle Alldredge
8/9/2006



THE LAST HUG

My life has taken many turns since you left
Dealing with emotions I didn't know I had
Facing each day with renewed courage
Most people don't know why I feel so bad

Only a parent who has lost a child can know
How deep and intense this pain is in my heart
At times I look at your picture, it almost glows
Your warmth and beauty so dear to my heart

Knowing you took all our love with you
The love we so generously showered on you
We have learned how to cope and move on
Not an easy chore since you have been gone

If I am real still, I can almost feel those warm hugs
I feel your love and radiance surround me
Reminding me you are still so very near
How I fondly remember, that one last hug

I Love You My Daughter

Sue Smith
10/15/2006

My Friends

Just remember you are never alone
Heavenly Angels is always here for you
Take our hand and walk with us

A grief shared is a grief divided

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7-17-06 Poems  / Mom
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In Loving Memory of Kira  / Valerie Arias
Just a few words to offer my thoughts and prayers to the family of this beautiful little angel Kira.  Although I can not even imagine what the loss of a child must feel like, your dedication and thoughful words have helped me to understand the loss you all have suffered...and also how precious life is.  I am a fellow classmate of Angelas, and although we have never met in person, I have been drawn to her by a "hypothetical" question that was raised in our Mental Health Law class.  An issue was recently brought up in class, that made me want to learn more about this precious life that was needlessly lost.  In reading through the posts of family members and others offering condolences, it is clear her memory will not be lost in vain.  Someday I hope to read about a new legal standard being set because of Kira and the determination, strength and love of her mother, father and her entire family.  My heart and prayers go out to each of you.  I will be thinking of you and your family on Kira's upcoming birthday. Close

Thinking of Kira  / Robin Davies (Friend of Mom )
Sitting in my living room watching my son play, I'm thinking of Kira. I remember watching her play. She was always smiling with her big brown eyes. We all watched her grow from walking, to talking , and learning how to read. She went from a baby to a little girl right in front of our eyes. She got a Brittney Spears CD that had "I Love Rock and Roll" on it. She took me in her room and sang every word to that song and danced her heart out. We will all truely miss Kira, and she will meet us some day in heaven.
Thinking of Kira.
Love Always,
Robin Sunshine Close