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Welcome...
Kira loved to have her picture taken. I am going to share a sample of my favorite pictures and memories with you in this website. This has been difficult to put together, as the poems I have selected will show. I am going to attempt to put together a presentation here for those who need to see what my daughter meant to me, our family and friends, and the community in whole. Feel free to look at her other web pages that I have been working on. These pages have helped me keep her memory alive and to be able to grieve in a constructive way. I have also included information on the research I have done so I may spread awareness and prevent this from happening to another beautiful soul. I wish I could add more pictures and memories to this album, but it is a book that ended before it was able to begin. Kira touched hundreds of hearts and her memory will be with us all forever.
REMEMBER ME
Remember me with all your love
Not with pain or sorrow
Though I'm not with you, I still feel your love
Yesterday, today and tomorrow
It was special to be your child
For the time I was there
Cherish out memories together
Even when you think life isn't fair
Though I may not be there with you
I will always be around
Sometimes I do appear to you
A butterfly, a song or to a friend you have found
Remember me with a joyful heart
Along with happiness and love
These are the things that keep me alive
Forever within your heart...
Doyle Alldredge(c) 2006
WAITING FOR THE DUST
Each afternoon I gaze down the road
Waiting for the dust trail
Bringing you home to me
I watch and wait
Time has passed
Deep within my heart, I know it will never be
Some say I'm wasting time
As daily I search the road
They never knowing just that I can see
I wait, I watch
I often see the memories that bring you home to me
No! my time is not wasted
As daily I search for you
The memories brings us once more together
I can feel your nearness
With each memory I recall
Oh yes, the road still brings you to me
Thought I never will again see the dust
I know that you will come
It is not the dust but the road
Which brings you home to me
Doyle wrote this in memory of his son
Yancy who lost his life on the this road of dust
in a MVA on
November 12, 2002
Kira's Memorial Site - I have been working on this site for over a year. Please take time to look at what I have done with it. I have included a journal, poems, guestbook (hundreds of entries filled with compassion), photos, newspaper articles, and grief information.
http://freewebs.com/wyoangelkira/
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Click here to see Kira Reddick's Family Tree |
 Tributes and Condolences |
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check out this link / Mom
http://www.balloonrelease.com/balloon_release_2004.htm
Check out this link. #188 is Kira's name.
http://www.groww.com/Memorials/wall/walldatabase.htm
This list is alphbetical and she is on wall 82. http://www.groww.co...
 Continue >>
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THE BROKEN CHAIN (POEM) / Grammy Reddick
We little knew that morning, that God was going to call your name.In life we loved you dearly,In death we do the same.It broke our hearts to lose you.You did not go alone.For part of us went with you,The day God called you home.You left us peaceful m...
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An Hour / MOM
An Hour
If I could have an hour with my child
If I were allowed such a gift
How would I spend our time together
How would I react to once again to see my child
With t...
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changes 10-31-06 / Mom
CHANGES
My world, my life has changed
Not because of my wanting too
Death has taken my child
Death has taken my life too
I will forever be changed
Never to be as I was
My life was stripped from me...
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Don't Tell Me / Laura Selvage (Friend to Mom )
Angela,
Here is a copy of the poem I read you the other day. Hope you like it. Keeping you and Russ close to my heart always.
Love,
Laura
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7-17-06 Poems / Mom Read >> |
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Trying to make sense out of tragedy / Pauline Kuxhausen (Godmother) Read >> |
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Letter those responsible for letting my girl die / Russell Reddick (Father) Read >> |
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My dear sweet niece.... / Rhonda (aunt) Read >> |
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My daughter and Kira / Laurel Davies (Family friend ) Read >> |
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A mother and grandmother's loss / Darlene Reddick (Grandmother) Read >> |
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Some thoughts / Nile Coy (second cousin ) Read >> |
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Mr / Josh Thompson (Family friend, father of Kira's friend Dylan ) Read >> |
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Mr / Josh Thompson (Family friend, father of Kira's friend Dylan ) Read >> |
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Poems that reflect how we feel. / Angela (Mom) Read >> |
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| Her legacy |
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My Plans for Honoring Kira
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- I want to make this tragedy have a positive outcome for my family, friends, and community.
- I would like to start a non-profit organization in Kira's honor that will allow me to educate about water safety and drowning awareness.
- I would like to see all safety standards met.
- I would like to see that all lifeguards receive proper training, maybe more rigorous with an increased allowed age to be a lifeguard.
- I want the slide removed from the Riverton pool, no slide should be accessible to children that do not know how to swim that ends in the deep end of the pool.
Please look at this site for more information on The Poseidon System that I believe would have saved her life. I have contacted the company and they are willing to come to Wyoming to help me get this installed in pools where children swim. I would like the Riverton pool to have it if they continue to give swimming lessons.
http://www.poseidon-tech.com/us/components.html
- I want to start a program to provide families dealing with traumatic death with information on what to do next, where to find information, and where to go for support. I am a member of The Compassionate Friends, http://www.compassionatefriends.org/ and would like to start a local chapter of Bereaved Parents of the USA, http://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/index.htm which I have already been in contact with to do so
- I have done research on traumatic grief, loosing a child, drowning, and how to cope with difficult anniversaries such as birthdays, Heaven Days, and holidays. Here is a link to pamphlets I have read: http://www.tcf.org.uk/index.html?uklibrary.html~main
- I want to set up a college fund for Riley so he can have limitless possibilities with his future. I have information on a 529 plan that I am learning about. Kira loved learning and had great hopes and dreams for the future.
- Russell, Riley, and I need a home to call our own. Kira always wanted a backyard to safely play in. I need an office to do my work, and a place to sew.
- I am planning to make memory quilts and bears for our loved ones, however, it is difficult to do without space, a washer and dryer, or the willpower to actually go through her belongings. Unfortunately, everything is boxed up and in our third bedroom. Each item of clothing holds a cherished memory.
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My Links for much needed help
Here is a list of sites that have helped me with my grief process. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety disorder, and PTSD. zThese sites have a plethera of aid, and Kira is listed on the walls listed. Just look at the list for the Drowning Wall..................way too many names. Kira is listed about 20 from the bottom.
Yahoo groups
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Mychilddied/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DrowningSupportNetwork/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AngelMoms2/?yguid=138767123
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BereavementAndOrganDonorQuiltBlocks/?yguid=138767123
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/lovedonesuddenlytaken/?yguid=138767123
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/mourninglossofachild/?yguid=138767123
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Mychilddied/?yguid=138767123
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/mfwsc/?yguid=138767123
Mother’s for Water Safety Coalition http://www.mfwsc.com/
Drowning wall http://www.mfwsc.com/nationalregistry.htm
Groww memory wall http://www.groww.org/Memorials/wall/wall82.htm
http://www.groww.org/index.htm
Bears and quilts
http://www.geocities.com/joesmemorybears/
http://www.bereavementmag.com/marketplace/showlist.asp
The Compassionate Friends
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Brochures/suddendeath.htm
http://www.tcf.org.uk/index.html?uklibrary.html~main
OUR CHILDREN'S MEMORIAL WALKWAY
http://ocmw.org/
IF ONLY MY HEART COULD SPEAK
If only my heart could speak,
I wonder what it would say,
With my head bowed,
would it cry out loud?
Oh please take this nightmare away!
If only my heart could speak,
Oh, what would it reveal?
Could it ever explain
the loneliness and pain...
I try so hard to conceal?
If only my heart could speak,
would anyone hear it cry?
For my child is gone,
And I'm all alone;
Still no answer to the "why".
I know my heart can speak,
I hear each time it weeps.
I lay awake at night;
Staring without light,
And cry while the world sleeps.
Oh yes, my heart can speak.
It cries every single day,
And someday I'll understand
when we walk hand in hand...
That's what I hear my heart say..
Kaye Des'Ormeaux
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Grief and Loosing Kira
How can I summarize how this has affected us all?
Drowning Fact Sheet
Drowning is the second leading cause of unintentional injury-related deaths to children ages 14 and under. A temporary lapse in supervision is a common factor in most drowning and near-drowning. Child drowning can happen in a matter of seconds--in the time it takes to answer the phone. There is often no splashing to warn of trouble. Children can drown in small quantities of water and are at risk in their own homes from wading pools, bathtubs, buckets, diaper pails, and toilets as well as swimming pools, spas, and hot tubs.
Deaths and Injuries
- A swimming pool is 14 times more likely than a motor vehicle to be involved in the death of a child age 4 and under.
-Each year, approximately 1,150 children ages 14 and under drown; more than half are preschoolers (ages 0-4).
-Each year, an estimated 5,000 children ages 14 and under are hospitalized due to near-drownings.
-Of children surviving near-drownings, 5-20 percent suffer severe and permanent disability.
WHAT IS NORMAL NOW?
By Vicki Windham, NE Platte Chapter TCF
NORMAL is trying to decide what to take to the cemetery for Christmas, birthdays, Valentine's day and Easter.
NORMAL is feeling like you know how to act and are more comfortable with a funeral than a wedding or a birthday party. Yet, feeling a stab of pain in your heart when you smell the flowers, see the casket, and all the crying people.
NORMAL is feeling like you can't sit through another minute without screaming because you just don't like to sit through church anymore. And yet at the same time feeling like you have more faith in God than you ever had before.
NORMAL is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your families’ life.
NORMAL is not sleeping because a thousand "what ifs" go through your head constantly.
NORMAL is having the TV on the minute you walk into the house to have some "noise" because the silence is deafening.
NORMAL is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday common event and then gasping in horror at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become part of normal conversation.
NORMAL is each year coming up with the difficult task of how to honor your child's memory and their birthday and surviving those days. And trying to find a balloon or flag that fits the occasion, "Happy Birthday"? Not really!
NORMAL is a new friendship with another bereaved parent and meeting over coffee and talking and crying together over your children. And worrying together over the surviving children.
NORMAL is being too tired to care if you paid your bills, cleaned your house, did the laundry or if there is food in the house.
NORMAL is wondering this time whether you are going to say you have 2 or 3 children because you will never see this person again, and is it worth explaining that one of them has passed away. And yet, when you say 2 children to avoid the problem you feel horrible as if you have betrayed your child.
NORMAL is hiding all the things that have become "normal" for you to feel, so that everyone around you will think you are "NORMAL".
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Grief Information
Grief: Coping with reminders after a loss
Date updated: September 08, 2006
Content provided by MayoClinic.com
When a loved one dies, you often don't experience the grief of loss just once. You're likely to relive your grief on the anniversary of your loved one's death and on special days throughout the year, such as a birthday or religious holiday. Even memorial celebrations for strangers who died in catastrophes, conflicts or disasters can trigger the familiar pain and sadness of a loss.
The return of these feelings of grief is not necessarily a setback in the grieving process. It's a reflection that the lives of others were important to you, and that you grieve their loss. Learning more about what to expect and how to cope with reminders of your loss can help make the grieving process a healthy, healing one.
When grief returns
The memories and emotions rekindled through reminders are called anniversary reactions. These reactions, which can last for days or weeks at a time, often give rise to a host of emotions and physical problems.
You may experience sadness, loneliness, anger, anxiety, nightmares and lack of interest in activities, just as you did when you first grieved. You may weep unexpectedly or replay images or scenes related to your loved one. You might have trouble eating or sleeping, or develop headaches, stomach pain or intestinal upset.
Anniversary reactions can also evoke powerful emotional memories - experiences in which you vividly recall the feelings and events surrounding the death. You might remember in great detail where you were and what you were doing, for instance.
Common triggers of grief
Some reminders are almost inevitable, especially during the first year after a death. That's when you'll face a lot of "firsts" - the first holiday after your sister died, for example. The first Mother's Day after losing your mom. The first anniversary of a national tragedy. Your reactions to these firsts might be intense, but you'll probably find it easier to cope with subsequent anniversary dates as years pass.
Common reminders that may trigger your grief also include:
* Weddings and wedding anniversaries
* Family gatherings or celebrations
* Childhood milestones, including the first day of school, prom, homecoming and other child-oriented days, such as Halloween
* Special days - when you met, when you became engaged, when you last saw your loved one alive, when you took a big trip together, for example
Reminders aren't just tied to the calendar, though. They can be anywhere - in sights, sounds and smells, in the news or on television programs. And they can ambush you, suddenly flooding you with emotions when you drive by the restaurant your wife loved or when you hear a song your friend liked so much.
Even years after a loss you may continue to feel sadness and pain when you're confronted with such reminders. Although some people think grieving should last a year or less, grieve at your own pace.
When grief becomes depression or PTSD
On the other hand, protracted or intense grief can be unhealthy. If you find that your feelings interfere with your ability to function in your daily life - you miss work deadlines, have conflicts with family or friends, neglect your appearance or stop socializing, for instance - you may no longer be simply grieving. Your grief may have progressed into depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Depression
Symptoms of depression include self-criticism, feelings of guilt about the loss and even thoughts of suicide. If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, it's time to get treatment. Start by visiting your primary care doctor to discuss treatment options, such as psychotherapy or medication.
PTSD
In some cases, anniversary reactions can trigger PTSD. This is more likely to occur when you have recurrent distressful memories of something that happened to you personally, such as a mugging or a car accident. Signs and symptoms of post-traumatic stress include fear and anxiety, a lack of focus, sadness, changes in sleeping or eating habits, bouts of crying, or recurrent thoughts or nightmares about the event. If you have these disturbing feelings for more than a month, if they're severe or if you feel you're having trouble coping, see your doctor or a mental health professional.
Prepare for episodes of grief
Be prepared for the occasional return of feelings of grief. Knowing that you're likely to experience anniversary reactions can help you understand them and even turn them into opportunities for healing. Some people create new holiday traditions or ways of honoring loved ones who have died. You may find that symbolizing or expressing grief helps you cope better than denying or avoiding it.
Attending public memorials and ceremonies that mark the anniversary of tragedies, disasters and other events that claimed lives also can help. These kinds of ceremonies can help draw people together and allow you to share feelings with others who feel similarly.
You might find yourself dreading upcoming special days, fearful of being overwhelmed by painful memories and emotions. In some cases, the anticipation can be worse than the reality. In fact, you may find that you work through some of your grief as you cope with the stress and anxiety of approaching reminders.
Tips to cope and heal
Here are several ways to cope with reminders of loss and to continue the healing process:
* Be reassured that anniversary reactions are normal and that their intensity will diminish in time.
* Reminisce about your relationship with the person who died. Try to focus on the good things about the relationship and the time you had together, rather than the loss.
* Plan a distraction, such as a weekend away or a visit with friends or relatives.
* Start a new tradition in your loved one's memory. For example, make a donation to a charitable organization in the person's name on birthdays or holidays.
* If you find yourself becoming more anxious, sad or distressed by news coverage, limit your exposure to news reports about tragic events.
* Draw family members and friends close to you, rather than avoiding them. Find someone who will encourage you to talk about your loss. Stay connected to your usual support systems, such as spiritual leaders and social groups.
* Allow yourself to feel sadness and a sense of loss. Conversely, allow yourself to also experience joy and happiness as you celebrate special times. In fact, you might find yourself both laughing and crying.
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©1998-2008 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER)
Related Links
* Survivors of suicide: Healing after a loved one's suicide
* Infant death: Grief and the path to loving remembrance
* Complicated grief
* Grieving process: What's normal?
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| Kira's Photo Album |
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